lessons from the weekend

If you want to make your dog frustrated -
     a) put your hand high up in the air at an awkward angle and tell her to high-five it. she'll automatically put her paw up in front of her and high-five the air, but when you say "no, high-five here" and wave your hand a little bit, she'll frown a puppy frown and huff and puff and sink to the floor and bark under her breath. don't stop telling her to high-five you until she at least TRIES to reach your hand. then you can praise her (but she'll still be exasperated).
     b) sing the first ten seconds of this song over and over with your husband. (is it singing or humming? it's a mix, right? it's weird.) your dog will HATE you. but it's funny, i promise. her ears will twitch and she'll sigh heavily and look worried/bored (she's trying SO hard to act nonchalant but goshdarnit she hates that noise). she'll shift positions so she's no longer looking at you, but her ears will still twitch. then you'll raise the pitch and volume of your voices and she'll stand up really fast and shoot you a dirty look and then high-tail it out of the room with her hair sticking up.

When your husband says he wants tuna and popcorn, he means he wants you to make him tuna and popcorn at the same time. Not tuna for dinner and popcorn for dessert like a normal person. Tuna and popcorn on the same plate. He'll look at the fancy tuna sandwich you made him that has lettuce on it (see? fancy) and the sun chips on the side, and he'll say, "so did you not make popcorn?"

If you've been trying for years to get your husband to dress up with you for Halloween and every year he says no and acts like that is the most embarrassing thing you could possibly make him do, DON'T GIVE UP. One year he will surprise you and go with you on a giggle-filled trip to the store and you'll hold hands and discuss outfit options and it will be pretty stinkin' cute.

Orange juice really does help when you have a cold. If you're not much of an OJ drinker, try it anyways. I think I have more OJ than blood in me right now.

making popcorn on the stove is really fun.