patience

For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. 

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.
You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Psalm 66:10-12

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God is teaching me patience right now, and I don't like it. And yet, I do. It's kind of like working out... the sweat and burn is often uncomfortable, even painful, but because you know you're working your body, it feels good. 

 

I have been extremely aware of how many opportunities God has given me to work on my patience. 

 

Running late to work? All the lights will turn red right when you approach them. Or, other drivers will be annoying. Or, you'll have to sit and wait for a schoolbus. Or the train.

 

Having a bad hair day? The serum you put in to help de-frizz makes your hair look greasy. Or the one not straight section of your hair won't straighten no matter how many times you go over it. Or you knock over half of the stuff on the counter when you go to put your brush down.

Well, there are two examples that happen almost every single day. And there are many, many more. I'm sure you can relate. I tend to vocalize my frustration, saying, "UGGGHHH!" or "SERIOUSLY? COME ON." or "ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!?!?" 

Slowly but surely I have been replacing those "UGGGGHH" moments with a deep breath and a quick prayer. I've been letting go of that dreadful "this is going to ruin my day" thought process and I've started finding joy and pleasure in being able to let things go.

I don't want to let little things get to me. I want to be calm and collected and peaceful. I see that God is using these moments to test me and refine me. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to imitate Christ, and I fail again and again. These trials of my patience are nothing as serious as the trials of oppression that the Israelites faced (which David is discussing in the passage included), but they are tests nonetheless. The good news? God is bringing me to a place of abundance.