a weight on my back (and everywhere else too)

I have been trying to lose weight since the beginning of the year with absolutely zero results. In fact, I've gained a few more pounds since then. There are a lot of factors: I stopped exercising. I was eating sugars and carbs like there was no tomorrow. I ate out a lot. I ate a lot of ice cream. I changed birth control pills. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching Netflix and Hulu and checking emails and reading blogs. All of these things, plus the fact that I'm five years older (blasted hormone levels), have contributed to why I no longer look like this: 

At Blue Hole circa fall 2005
look at those tiny arms! I mourn those tiny arms!

Weight wise, the past year has been pretty miserable. I didn't talk about it for a loooong time because I didn't want to be one of those people who complains about their weight and then doesn't do anything about it. I really thought I was trying...I would make more healthful dinners, eat salads for lunch, walk the dog...but I never had the endurance to keep up the good habits. I hated not being able to hide it. For a long time I refused to buy new clothes because I didn't want to be accepting a body that I didn't want. 

Here's the thing about weight. We're all different. I have friends who lead healthier lifestyles than I do who are the same size or bigger than I am. A lot of it has to do with genes, and my genes say I'm supposed to be thin with a booty. I know my "happy" weight and I know I'm not at it right now, and guess what? I'm not happy about that! I'm extremely disappointed in myself. 

So here's what I'm doing about it: On Monday I decided to start being completely honest with myself about what I put into my mouth and how much exercise I get. I made a profile on sparkpeople.com, which lets me track my meals and how much I work out. I also bought a digital scale for weigh-ins and dug out the food scale that I've had for months and never used. I am hoping to reach my weight goal by my 24th birthday. A present to myself!