Thursday, July 19, 2012

this is good

I'm toying with my french fries, trying to express the sadness in my heart. Bethany looks at me from across the table and gently says, "I get it. I didn't want to move here. I'm still grieving."

That's what it is I thought, nodding my head and letting the truth of her words sink in.

I'm still grieving.

The world didn't stop when we moved. Life moves on. Schedules get filled. The best intentions aren't always turned into actions.

You've been in these shoes before, or maybe you're in them now. I've watched my friends go through it. One by one, we all leave the cozy little nest of a community we made. Now that community is sustained through gchat, phone calls and Facebook comments. I miss you. I miss you, too. 

Oh, but I ache to be near them. To sit shoulder to shoulder doing a crossword, to laugh hysterically over awkward stories, to run my fingers over their books, to kiss the cheeks of their babies, to linger over coffee with them.

I hope as I drive back to Frederick from Harrisonburg on Sunday that I will have the ability to acknowledge that while that was so good, this is good, too. That while my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I won't have time to maintain my regrets because I will be thinking about how He loves us, oh how he loves.


  1. girlfriend, i am so excited to see you this weekend! i can definitely relate to every word you've written. i have been here for 9 months and still find myself grieving my old life from time to time. it gets easier every day and sometimes i'll think i'm completely over it and i'll feel so fulfilled about where i am right now. but then i'll look at a friend's facebook picture and tear up. or i'll know about a gathering that i have to miss, or a new baby is born and i know i won't be able to meet them until they're several months old. it gets easier but some days are really tough.

  2. this is just what i needed to read.

  3. mmmm. love this. love you. thanks for being so real :)

  4. Girl, I just read this and teared up. I do get it. And it help so much to have someone else who does to. So glad to have met you and will see you tonight.

    1. oops, this is Bethany by the way.


thanks for reading!