Strangest job assignment ever.

Today I bought $15 worth of chicken breasts for Jack, my boss Katie's DOG. I teased her that it was like working for Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, but in reality Katie is a lot of fun to work for. And no, she is not a complete freak - Jack has stomach issues and the vet suggested they feed him chicken breasts.

My other assignments made up for the chicken thing. I shopped for bowties, shoes and hairpieces online b/c Katie and her husband are getting pics taken later in the month. This is the second time I've been paid to shop. LOVE IT. Katie is wearing an amazing light pink dress with a thick black asymmetrical strap from The Yellow Button in Harrisonburg, and we bought her a ton of hairpieces from Forever 21 as well as these a-mazing heels. The shoes are described as "a covetable challenge" which I suppose means they are difficult to wear, but why would you tell that to customer?!

I also discussed pricing with a printshop, e-mailed a bride about meeting with her in NYC and helped Katie set up different shots of spices and raw veggies for her assignment for chef Barton Seaver.

Oh yes, we're going to NYC! We're going the first weekend in March, which means I'll be in a state of excitement for several weeks. We will be meeting up with a few brides and a wedding planner, and hopefully getting a tour of the Martha Stewart offices. Any suggestions on where we should eat?

hair extensions? really, Kate Gosselin? ...and other news.

The world is coming to an end.

Today was my first day as the studio manager for Open Air Photography. Unfortunately the one task Katie asked me to do today proved a little too difficult for me. I had to staple a checklist to each wedding contract for 2010. Connecting two pages together with a thin metal strip via a handheld device should not be this hard. Of course, after I banged it to death, Katie came over to give it a try and with a simple tap against her wrist the staple clicked into place. I told her she should fire me immediately.

How annoying is that? It ALWAYS happens to me-- someone else can do something in two seconds that I've attempted to do for ten minutes.

The moral of the story is that Katie's stapler likes to be gently wooed before it submits to twisting itself up for the sake of organization. Lesson learned, stapler.

P.S. Not too long ago I went to get a few squares of toilet paper from our bathroom and nearly cut myself. This can't be right...so I investigated the roll and found a small STICK wedged into the paper. This makes me wonder if some advanced whittler is shaving branches until it turns into triple-ply TP, similar to the way a person would peel an apple and get an impressively long twirl of skin. He (or she) needs to go back to whittling school. I'm impressed by the plys, but honestly I had to sit and unroll it until there was hardly any paper left. I saved the wood chip for a while as a reminder that Big Brother really does exist and your bottom is in danger of receiving a huge splinter.

I don't really believe in Big Brother.

But on the subject of toilet paper, here's some toilet paper entertainment courtesy of Seinfeld.